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So, let’s talk about 6 reasons why you might be keeping your childhood trauma a secret, how secrets lead to psychological problems, and what you can do about it now. If a parent has a child keep something from their parent ("Don't tell your father,") this makes the child the protector of the parent," Stanizai says. Confess such secrets to the right people and it becomes much harder for the harm such secrets enable to continue. Learn about this and more at FindLaw's Child Custody section. A parent might feel good at the moment that he or she is able to motivate a child to meet a goal, but any feelings of pride will be diminished if they’re not able to make good on their promise. Family secrets can have serious long-term consequences. Adult children of narcissists go through a lifetime’s worth of abuse. The molester exploits the child's emotional needs by freely offering love, friendship and support. • The child will learn not to trust others. Anyone who violates … • The child … Yes, keeping secrets can cause psychological symptoms and problems. Keeping these kind of secrets allows the detrimental behavior to continue. Malicious parent syndrome, or malicious mother syndrome, refers to tactics employed by one parent to make the other parent look bad in the eyes of the law, which generally harms the children involved in custody disputes following divorce. Parents may even feel relieved that the child has found a responsible friend, mentor or role model or that they have found a dependable babysitter, depending on the age of the child. We may think that another parent seems “so nice” or that maybe what the child disclosed was a kid just being “dramatic,” that maybe it was all just a typical adolescent disagreement with a parent—that there must be some other explanation. 5 Reasons You Keep Your Trauma A Secret. • The child will be taught to keep secrets to protect the parent and the family. • The child will be there for the parent, rather than the other way around, as it should be. A study at Liverpool John Moores University suggested that one in 25 children is raised by a man who does not realise he is not the child’s biological father. You child needs to know they can come to YOU if something happens. The mother often bears the secret alone, fearing the … The consequences of this lie can be devastating. • The child will feel emotionally empty and not nurtured. Good parents always make a point of modeling positive behaviors, even if it means admitting they were wrong. Letting the children know that he or she will feel badly if the child goes to the other parent when he or she feels … Opening discuss your family doesn’t keep secrets and keep tabs on those around your child. Set clear family boundaries: Teach all members of the family to respect privacy in dressing, bathing, sleeping and other personal activities. ... Dysfunctional families keep secrets. You have your own reasons for keeping your trauma a secret. Noemi Marasigan, Educhild parent advocate and mom to five teenagers, shares, “It is during the formative years that a child learns the concept of secret-keeping. Whatever the parent needs, the molester is … • The child will feel used and manipulated. Children of narcissists go through a lifetime ’ s worth of abuse the parent and the family, rather the! Can come to you if something happens ’ t keep secrets and keep tabs on those around your child the. 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